I wanted to share this very stirring article about “rehoming” adopted children that was written by Tina Traster, a writer/blogger, adoptive mother and author for The Daily Beast. She writes about adopted children who have been on rare occasion “rehomed,” either returned to their home country or re-settled with another family. As an adoptive parent my first instinct is to vilify any parents that would do this. But I think the issue is far more complicated.
Without naming names I know someone who had the best of intentions when adopting two children from a foreign country of roughly grade school age. After some time it became apparent to this parent that she was the wrong person to raise these kids. She found them another family who turned out to be far better suited to the task, so I’m hopeful that all worked well for the children. Meanwhile I suspect that my “friend” feels as though she’d had an abortion. It has been very difficult to live down.
But then there’s also the issue of parents of biological children who’ve “sent them away,” usually to disciplinary programs in places like Colorado, Utah and Maine for issues ranging from eating disorders, anger management, cutting and substance abuse. Should the biological parents also have been vilified or looked at as people at the end of their rope? Their were a number of times my wife Erika and I thought of “sending Casey away” and I’m glad we didn’t. But it didn’t make us saints. We made plenty of other mistakes, with tragic results.