Check Out This Blog – Portrait Of An Adoption

blog-71-128Portrait Of An Adoption is a wonderful blog produced by Carrie Goldman, who lives with her family in the Chicago area. Her blog aims to raise awareness about adoption by chronicling a wide range of adoption stories and books, especially now given that November is National Adoption Month. Carrie is the author of the multiple award-winning book Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear. She is also a co-founder of the Pop Culture Anti-Bullying Coalition, and she also runs Team Bullied. These are such important issues affecting our children in today’s cyber world.

Today Portrait Of An Adoption featured Casey’s story, titled I Want Someone To Fix Me: The Agony Of Attachment Disorder. I’m very grateful to Carrie for sharing Casey’s story with her followers.

4 thoughts on “Check Out This Blog – Portrait Of An Adoption

  1. I’m responding to your post on Portrait of an Adoption as an adoption professional. I attended a seminar on attachment disorder in the 1980s, by an employee of Evergreen Center in Colorado. I learned enough to suspect a diagnosis of RAD, but at the time there were very few therapists trained to treat children with RAD.

    In my 35 years of adoption experience, I’ve seen four children (two in residential treatment — whose birth histories were unknown to me, and two raised in orphanages and placed through inter-country adoption) whose diagnoses could probably be RAD. At the time, the State would not pay for the extensive treatment that might have helped the first two. In the third case, the client was an older teen who was pregnant and who chose adoption for her baby. She wrote a precious letter to her daughter, hoping she would have a better life than her own. The last I knew of her, she was prostituting and living from hand-to-mouth on the streets. Her parents had taken her from therapist to therapist, but no one had ever suggested RAD as a diagnosis. Both she and the fourth child were raised in orphanages in other countries and adopted after the age of 5.

    The last family was so discouraged that they did not follow up on the referral that I made to a competent therapist who I believe could have made a difference. The therapist does not accept insurance; he did not want to take on the expense.

    I applaud you for getting the word out about Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s still not well known, and your Casey’s story is important to tell.

    • Thanks so much for sharing this. It especially means a lot coming from a professional. For me, getting to know more folks in the “adoption triad” was truly eye opening and really turned my thinking around 180 degrees to focus on the child as opposed to us, the adoptive parents. It’s a hard admission to make but as I wrote in my essay, Casey, as the adoptee, was the only one in the triad who had no choice or voice in the matter. The birth mother had some (but probably mostly bad choices) whereas we as adoptive parents had choices (maybe slightly less bad.)

  2. You mention that Casey was a twin. My adopted daughter was also a survivor of a twin pregnancy. Many don’t realize that these children bond in the womb and when their twin dies, they experience the first of many losses/abandonments. Any treatment for trauma or loss should include acknowledgment of this first loss.

    • I couldn’t agree more. That was the only thing we never revealed to her, figuring we’d wait till she could “handle it.” She was a “twinless twin” yet another loss, as you said.

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